Bagels a la Heather

Sometimes I get recipe ideas from the weirdest places. In this case that place was, “Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me.”


Chelsea Handler is hilarious and apparently the world’s greatest liar. Her coworkers and friends – who wrote this book together about the times she’s full-blown made up the most ridiculous stories ever, which they believed 100% – seem like they love her despite this. And “Lies  That Chelsea Handler Told Me” is just another in the series of Chelsea Handler books that made me laugh out loud. 

In a small paragraph written by Chelsea’s coworker and panelist Heather McDonald about her breakfast, though, I read:  “You slice the bagel, scoop out all the carb-infested middle, then toast what’s left, and pile on light cream cheese, tomatoes, and cucumbers, and a hint of fresh lemon juice. You get all the crunch and flavor with half the calories!” This, of course, spoke straight to my heart. 

My parents had this gorgeous dinner party last night, and Brendan and I slept over afterwards, and for breakfast this morning I came down to the bagels and coffees for us from my dad. My parents had everything for these Heather McDonald bagels in their fridge, so there you go. I wasn’t feeling great so I made these, got a glass of fresh-pressed OJ and went upstairs to have breakfast in bed, which was exactly what I needed. When’s the last time you had breakfast in bed? Make this and Treat Yo’ Self.

BAGELS A LA HEATHER 
– Bagel
– 1 tbsp. capers, chopped
– 2 tbsp. cucumbers, chopped
– 2 tbsp. tomatoes, chopped
– thin layer of cream cheese
– squeeze of lemon

1. Scoop out the “carb-infested middle” of the bagel. Toast.

 

2. Add a thin layer of cream cheese, cucumbers, tomatoes and capers. Top with a squeeze of lemon and enjoy.







California Eggs Benedict

You guys, I think this might be my new favorite breakfast. Poaching eggs is apparently the easiest thing in the world and they look so impressive. Take some avocados, smoked salmon, and the The Best Dressing Ever for a little heat, put them on whole-wheat English Muffins, and you have an unbelievably delicious, healthy-ish, completely filling breakfast that – honestly – puts just about every weekend brunch you could pay for to shame. Brendan and I had these for breakfast this morning, and both of us were taking our sweet time finishing them because we didn’t want to get to that last bite. SO GOOD.

CALIFORNIA EGGS BENEDICT (serves 2)
– 4 fresh eggs
– 3/4 avocado, sliced
– 4 oz. smoke salmon
– 2 whole wheat English Muffins
– a little bit of butter
– a little bit of kosher salt (optional)
The Best Dressing Ever

1. In a smaller sauce pot, heat about 6 inches of water over medium high heat. The temperature here is key – you want it to be bubbling but not boiling. Add a little white wine vinegar and a little kosher salt.

2. Crack 1 egg into a concave ramekin. If the yolk breaks, toss it and start again. 


3. When the water is ready, swirl it with a spatula into a little tornado of water. Gently spill the egg from the ramekin into the “eye” of the tornado. 

4. Let the egg cook for approximately 3-4 minutes. You want the egg yolk to be a little bit set but mostly runny, not firm. When yolk is ready, remove with a slotted spoon and place on a paper towel. Repeat with the other 3 eggs, one at a time.


5. Meanwhile, slice the avocados and get out the smoked salmon.


6. When you add the last egg to the poaching pot, lightly toast the English Muffins. When toasted, add a little butter to melt. 


7. Remove the last egg from the water, turn off the stove, but leave the water on the stove.

8. Have your super talented boyfriend get out his bad-ass camera to take the following pictures.

9. Top English Muffins with smoked salmon and avocado slices.


10. To reheat the first few eggs, add them back to the poaching pot for a minute to reheat in the warm water. Remove and drain.

11. Top smoked salmon and avocado slices with poached eggs.



12. Get out the Best Dressing Ever, and drizzle over the eggs. 



13. Top with a sprinkle of Kosher salt (optional). 

14. Cut into the middle of the yolk so it spills over the English Muffins. Brace yourself for enjoying one of the best breakfasts you’ll ever have.  



Cape Cod 2014

I’m finally back after nine days of one of the best vacations of my life. This is the second summer in a row that I’ve gone up to Cape Cod, and I hope that this is the beginning of an awesome summer pattern. It is so unbelievably gorgeous up there, so relaxing and just so charming. Here’s what I did for the past week and a half:

– Read 3 different books and 1 new screenplay

– Ate some of the best food I’ve ever had and did not cook a single thing

– Went bike riding, much to Brendan’s delight

– Saw JAWS on the Cape but didn’t see any sharks in real life, luckily

– Had at least one lobster roll a day

– Averaged 13,000 steps until my goddamn fitbit battery ran out of juice (obsessed)

– Slept until about 10am most mornings

– Spent EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. on the spectacular beaches of Chatham

– Got to have some serious quality time with my mom, dad, little sister, boyfriend and family friends – and what’s better than that?  I love you guys – thanks for a wonderful vacation!!

Spent the halfway point at Pepe’s Pizzeria in Connecticut, holy moly. Bren and I split almost a full pie of the fresh tomato and shrimp.

Finally at the beach!

The incomparable hydrangeas that populate the Cape, and our first lobster roll of the trip at the Squire

Family dinner at Pisces, which was beyond delicious and really cute too.

One of my favorite parts about our relationship is how easily we can make each other laugh (even when one of us is brushing their teeth)

Mom and Dad on the beach

Family <3

Probably my favorite dinner of the trip at Del Mar, where I had stuffed zucchini blossoms, about half of Brendan’s mushroom tart, local Cod and this incredible blueberry pie

My mom (waving from the door) is the cutest

Sunsets on the beach

Best lobster roll of the trip at The Canteen in  the ever-eclectic Provincetown

Brendan’s first time seeing Jaws, ever!! No better place to do it than 20 miles away from where it was filmed. 

An entire cooler of whoopie pies (and the most amazing breakfast burritos ever) at The Corner Store

Fresh pasta, The Prisoner wine and hilarious conversation with the world’s greatest parents at Buca’s

A lunch at the Wild Goose Inn that still makes me full just thinking about it – incredible

Amazing dinners and late night dance parties

Beach reading and cocktail hours with Dad

Love. 

See you next summer!







The Best Dressing Ever? Ever.

I tend to get a little obsessed with certain things. I can remember being younger and taping a song I loved off the radio (most likely, something by En Vogue, Richard Marx, or PM Dawn…yeah, yeah. It was the ’90s.) and playing it over and over until I’d start to get sick of it, then not be able to listen to it at all, then putting it away for a couple months, and then digging it out, listening to it and thinking “Why in the world did I ever stop listening to this??”, and repeating the cycle. Also – for those of you who remember trying to perfectly tape a song off the radio, props to you as it took serious skillz to capture the beginning and end of the song at just the right times before the DJ came back on and ruined it. This mp3 generation has no idea how much fun they’re missing out on.

Anyway, I did the same thing with books (David Sedaris and Chuck Klosterman? Check.). Same thing with Netflix – I realize that I should probably have more shame in admitting I binge-watched all 4 seasons of Breaking Bad in a week and a half just to catch up to the second half of season 5 and be able to watch the final episode in real time. But…I don’t. That show was awesome.

And, of course, food. I went through a meatball phase, a black olive phase, an artichoke phase, and I’m pretty sure I’ll always be in an avocado and feta phase.

But this dressing. This. Dressing.  It’s incredible. I want to put it on everything. I want to eat it with a spoon straight out of the jar. It’s creamy without being fattening, unbelievably flavorful, actually healthy, has the perfect texture, is a little tangy and packs a bit of heat, too. It’s fantastic. It’s a game-changer. If this is a phase, it’s one I never want to end.

THE BEST DRESSING EVER (adapted almost exactly from the gorgeous “It’s All Good”)
– 1/4 c. lime juice (2-3 limes – use a citrus reamer to get the most juice as possible)
– 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
– 1 tsp. honey
– 5 scallions, chopped (white and green parts)
– 1/2 smaller jalapeno, seeded and diced
– 1/3 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
– 6 oz. plain Greek yogurt
– 1/3 C. EVOO

1. Prep everything. Don’t skip the jalapeno – I hate spicy things but this amount of heat is perfect, perfect, perfect. Just make sure you wash your hands really well after cutting it!

2. Combine everything in a food processor (in order of ingredients listed) or a blender until well combined.


3. Store in a mason jar – this will keep for a week, or 2 days if you love it as much as we do.  Meet my latest obsession.  <3


Father’s Day

Everybody who’s ever met my dad knows how much he loves a story. He’s the greatest story-teller ever – seriously, ever – and despite having gone and kissed the Blarney Stone myself, I will never be able to deliver a punchline like he does. It’s a gift and I love nothing more than hanging out with him, enjoying cocktails and listening to his stories. But sometimes he needs a little material, and so this Father’s Day, Colly and I woke up really early (really  early), made his favorite mini potato pancakes  and a “#1 Dad” sign and surprised him on the 9th green at Fox Hill. He got to rave about his daughters surprising him, share the mini potato pancakes with his buddies, and drive around with that sign in his golf bag for the rest of the day. Oh, and then Collyn and I got back in the will (whew). Later on he came home to my mom’s famous meatloaf and a gorgeous little dinner outside with his family. Today was a good day. Happy Father’s Day Dad, we love you!







Four-Layer Mediterranean Dip

 

Last summer my friends and kids spent almost every weekend at Regina’s pool. Everyone would bring something, we’d have a couple cases of juice boxes (for the kids) and coronas (for the adults) and would just swim and eat and hang out. It was one of the best summers I’ve had in a long time…the little things, I know. My friend Adrienne would make this dip almost every weekend, and we’d devour it. It’s hummus, lemon-flavored greek yogurt, feta and then a blend of english cucumbers, red bell peppers, olives, tomatoes and scallions. You eat it with Carr’s water crackers and IT IS THE BOMB.  Ohhhh I’m so excited for pool season to start!!

FOUR-LAYER MEDITERRANEAN DIP (very slightly adapted from House Tweaking)
– 8 oz. plain hummus
– 1 tbsp. dill
– 2 tbsp. lemon juice, divided
– 1 regular size container plain Greek yogurt
– 1/2 tsp. pepper
– 1/3 english cucumber, chopped
– 1/2 small tomato, chopped
– 1/4 red bell pepper, chopped
– 1 scallion stalk, sliced thin (both whites and greens)
– 1/4 c. kalamata olives, chopped
– 1/2 c. crumbled feta

1. Add 1 tbsp. lemon juice and the dill to the hummus, mix well. Spread in 1 layer in a pie pan (clear is best since you can see the layers when it’s finished, but if you don’t have one, no worries).


2. Add the other tbsp. lemon juice and the pepper to the greek yogurt, mix well. Spread that in a thin layer on top of the hummus.


3. Crumble the feta in an even layer over the lemon greek yogurt mixture.


4. Add the english cucumber, tomato, bell pepper, scallions and kalamata olives (make sure these are all chopped in pretty much the same smallish size) over the top of the feta.


5. Serve with Carr’s Water Crackers and feel like Houdini as you watch this disappear.

— On another note, if Memorial Day Weekend was any indication of how this summer’s going to go, it’s going to be awesome. 

Modest Mouse at Ommegang – it poured but we had a blast

An unbelievable meal at the Red Caboose in Oneonta

“I’m always red.”

Brendan’s first Phillies game!! (He’s from Colorado)

Ommegang 
Otesaga Hotel – so so gorgeous 


Cucumber Roll-Ups stuffed with Avocado-Feta Mousse

My parents had a little dinner party at their house, and we all kind of went overboard with our contributions. I made these cucumber roll-ups and those pear, prosciutto & honeyed goat cheese apps, my dad made his incomparable filet mignon with merlot reduction sauce, and my sister made this insane blackberry, lime & olive oil cake. And my mom just made everything look beautiful, as always.  Anyway, these are super simple, really delicious and healthy too! Brendan helped me make them and he was all, “they’re like little cucumber burritos!” which…yup, I can see it. You can use just about anything as a filler, but you know how I looooves me some avocado & feta.

CUCUMBER ROLL-UPS STUFFED WITH AVOCADO-FETA MOUSSE (makes enough for 8 people as apps but only if you have a bunch of other little delicious apps, too)
– 1 english cucumber, washed, skin on
– 1 avocado
– 1/3 c. feta
– 1 tbsp. dill
– juice of 1/2 a lemon

1. Make the avocado-feta mousse. Dice the avocado, then mash it well.  Combine with the dill, lemon & feta. Taste, then adjust seasonings as needed.


2. With a vegetable peeler or a mandoline (I can’t use these, they truly truly freak me out), shave the cucumber into very thin slices. 


3. Take a small spoonful of the avocado-feta mousse and spread it over each slice of the cucumber. Roll and either secure with a toothpick, or leave as is.



4. Serve and watch your family enjoy. Make a mental note to try and make everything as beautiful as your mom always does. 


(Don’t worry. We went for a 7 mile waterfall hike the next day to burn this all off!)


Pasta with Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce

What’s better than being able to cook a great vodka cream sauce while trapped inside the house in a snowstorm?  Cooking a great vodka cream sauce while trapped inside the house in a snowstorm, with your sister. Two winters ago Collyn was visiting me and we had a huge snowstorm and couldn’t leave the house. We were craving comfort food and – amazingly – had everything in the fridge that we needed to make this. Even the half cup of Kettel One (which has never been put to such delicious use).  Eating pasta is always better when your sister is snuggled on the couch next to you with a bowl of her own.

PASTA WITH VODKA TOMATO CREAM SAUCE (adapted from the gorgeous Smitten Kitchen)
– 1 lb. good pasta (I used cavatelli for this which was so fun to eat)
– 3 garlic cloves, chopped
– 1 red onion, diced
– 2 tbsp butter
– 2 tbsp EVOO
– 1 8-oz can chunky crushed tomatoes
– 1/2 c. heavy cream
– 1/2 c. vodka
– couple leaves of basil, chiffonaded
– freshly grated parmesan

1. In a large saucepan, melt the butter and EVOO over medium heat. When combined, add chopped garlic and saute until fragrant, approx. 90 seconds.


2. Add chopped red onion – I know people usually use white onions, but I actually like how the red onion sort of loses its color and gains a sweetness. You really want to make sure these are sauteed enough though…they’ll continue to soften as you cook, but make sure they’re pretty much already there before you start adding the other stuff.


3. Add the vodka, then cook it down, about 4-6 minutes.


4. Add the tomato sauce, then heavy cream. Use the correct amounts here – I’ve tried to use a little bit more of one thing, a little bit less of another, but that gives me some derivative of tomato soup, which I’ll leave to The Kitchen.


5. Turn the heat down to low and let this simmer while you make the pasta.

6. Salt the pasta water pretty heavily – this may be the only seasoning you need for this, which is pretty incredible. Cook the pasta.

7. Throw a bunch of freshly grated parmesan cheese and the chiffonaded basil into the sauce when pasta is about halfway cooked, then give it a good stir.


8. Drain the pasta, then add it to the saucepan with the sauce. Serve and top with a little more freshly grated parm. Sistas.  <3



Happy Mother’s Day








I hosted Mother’s Day brunch this year for the world’s best, kindest, most devoted, fun and stylish (obviously) mom, and it was such a nice day. Colly made deviled eggs, the herb & romaine detox salad, and this amazing lavender lemon pie, and I made mini potato pancakes and those awesome tuna stacks, which might have been my Dad’s favorite thing I’ve ever made. We had such a great day with my mom, her girls and our boys. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you out there. <3

Pear, Prosciutto & Honeyed Goat Cheese Appetizers with Fresh Thyme

Oh man, these were soooo good. I’ve really been trying to like goat cheese lately, and honey + goat cheese = deliciousness. Bartlett pear slices with a salty piece of prosciutto, topped with honey goat cheese and thyme…I made these for a dinner party at my parents’, and we tore through 2 trays in no time flat. Even my mom had one, and she’s a vegetarian!!

Pear, Prosciutto & Honeyed Goat Cheese Appetizers (adapted from southernliving.com, serves 8)
– 2 bartlett pears
– 5 oz. very thinly sliced prosciutto
– 3 oz. honeyed goat cheese (or, if you can’t find this, goat cheese blended with honey)
– fresh thyme
– freshly cracked black pepper

1. Heat the oven to 400.

2. When oven is ready, put the prosciutto on aluminum foil and bake until crispy, approx. 10 minutes.

3. Let prosciutto drain on paper towels while you assemble everything else.


4. Cut pears into thin slices/rounds. Top with prosciutto, honeyed goat cheese, fresh thyme and a tiny bit of freshly cracked black pepper.  Serve and enjoy.